A lot of each day feels like waiting for the right moment. Waiting for the right moment to say something, do something, ask a question, or even respond to a text message. What goes through my head is often a checklist of questions. What if it’s too soon? Or, what if it’s too late? What may the other person or receiving end think about my timing? What’s acceptable to societal standards? The list goes on and on until it turns into pure anxiety.
I think the biggest reason for any of these thoughts is the fear of regret. When I look back at my decisions am I going to have regret? If so, what would this feeling of regret mean about me? Would it mean that I have lost control over myself? Would it mean that I’m not appreciative of living in the moment? I believe this worry comes from the unrealistic idea that “perfect” exists.
I find myself consumed daily with wondering how other people feel about my actions and attitude. The last thing I ever want is to spread negativity to another person or cause any sort of emotional distress to someone. As a result, I see myself as an individual who constantly tries to prevent situations of conflict. I’m sure many of you are familiar with the term “people-pleaser.”
One thing I have learned about people-pleasing during my teenage years is that it can cause a serious amount of distress. Like anything in life, it’s important to find a balance. People-pleasing can be a very gray area because although it may be helpful short-term, it could be harmful long-term depending on the situation.
Opening the door to people-pleasing is a lot like planting a seed. If you water the seed, the more it grows. Before you know it, the plant is fully bloomed and is automatically planting additional seeds in the ground. This is similar to the foot-in-the-door phenomenon (one of my AP Psychology terms!) where once you say yes to a smaller favor you are then inclined to say yes to a larger favor.
So…back to waiting for “the right moment,” as you might be wondering how this all connects together. The straightforward answer is that there is no such thing. As for the people-pleasing...it may seem insane to accept, but you may never really know what another person is actually thinking or feeling. If you have full confidence in following your moral instincts, you are less likely to feel regretful when making decisions. Taking control over your own mind and body is the most power any person could ever have.
